The Little Hoax: While Adviser Is Gone, Editors Break Newsroom Equipment

Mira Bohannan Kumar, Copy & Opinion Editor

While Little Hawk adviser Ronathan Jogers was on a work trip in Texas, the editors of the Little Hawk accidentally wreaked havoc on a piece of equipment in Room 2109.

“Look, I–I mean we–didn’t mean to,” said Layna Maskolka ’18, adding, “Shoot, I said I wasn’t going to take the blame. We were going to stand in solidarity. Mictor! I screwed up! I screwed up!”

After breaking the piece of equipment, the editors worked feverishly to repair its internal combustion engine and to reassemble its carburetor before the return of their adviser.

“If Jog finds out about this,” said Maskolka while supergluing her shaking fingers together, “we’re dead. We’re all dead.”

While the editors’ complete and utter lack of experience with high-level mechanics work hindered them in the process, they pushed through and eventually managed to come out on top of the ordeal.

“We spent a good twelve hours perusing college engineering textbooks, desperately looking for ways to reattach the fuel gauge to the thermal reader,” said Hira Lohannan Rumar ’20, “but as editors, that much painstaking reading is nothing new.”

Golivia Pusala ’19 agreed that the editors’ skills regarding their respective sections actually helped them in the repair process.

“I spend a lot of time studying mechanical processes and machines in general to draw them as art editor,” Pusala said. “Really, without that study, I wouldn’t have been able to put together the mercurial column with such accuracy.”

Treo Spineas ’18, who spent an “agonizing” eight hours knotting together the requisite net of fine copper wire, agreed.

“This is no more painful than a good day or two straight of transcribing interviews,” Spineas said, bandaging his fingers. “And we got it done, didn’t we?”

In the end, said Mictor Salil ’18, the experience helped editors band together to complete a task.

“Much like a good issue of the paper, we worked together to finish it,” said Salil through his welding mask. “I think the whole thing really helped us as a team.”

“Everything’s fine,” Lohannan Rumar insisted vehemently. “It’s fine! It’s completely fine!”