Local Iowa City coffee shop chain Java House has recently introduced protein-infused drinks. Finally, an option that doesn’t require Martha and I to sell our souls at massive, national chains. Thanks to my debate coach, Drew, for funding this expenditure, and thanks to Martha and I for taking one for the team and trying yet another protein coffee.
Purple Haze Latte with Protein Sweet Cream
Price: $10.96/20 oz
Comparable drink: $6.46/20 oz
Protein: 24 grams (maybe 12.5 grams in the protein milk, but we’re unsure)
We ordered Martha’s go-to Java House latte—an iced Purple Haze Latte with sweet cream topping—and the muscle-maxxing version, where we substituted for both the protein sweet cream and the protein milk. The drink itself is light, refreshing, and probably not my first pick for a cold February day, but that’s neither here nor there. I also think it could have been heavier on the lavender syrup—the flavor is there, but just barely (although perhaps I am spoiled by my typical London Fogs, which have lavender too). After drinking the mess that was the Scooter’s Turtle Latte, however, the Purple Haze was highly appreciated.
But we’re here to taste-test the protein, not the coffee itself, so as always, our review will ignore the rest of the drink.
The taste of the protein latte itself (minus the sweet cream topping) is about as comparable to the non-protein latte as the Starbucks vanilla protein latte is to its regular counterpart. Coffee is the first thing we tasted, but the protein taste wasn’t far behind, like an ex that’s always on your mind. Thankfully, it didn’t have that strange separating problem that the Starbucks drinks had.
However, Java House’s protein downfall lies in its sweet cream topping. Whereas the regular sweet cream was pleasant, less sweet than Scooters’ headache-inducing marshmallow fluff, the protein sweet cream has a massive protein problem. The protein powder wasn’t fully mixed in, creating unpleasant chunks on top of the drink that were impossible to ignore. It also clung to the side of the cup, leading to a distressing visual. Even after mixing the cold foam and protein powder into the rest of the drink to try and dissolve it, we still found chunks of protein. This presents a big problem—Martha and I usually prefer our drinks to be liquid, as opposed to solid.
On the plus side, at least we know that there was actually protein in the drink.
Martha’s Muscle Maxxing Tips: Even though the sweet cream had chunks of protein powder, no macros were secured. So, we can’t even tell you how much protein this actually has (the barista at the counter told us there was maybe 12.5 grams in each serving of protein boosted milk? But it’s unclear). However, if you’re looking to casually boost your protein intake and support a local business (which is always the right choice, unless you have a Starbucks gift card), this is a great option. On the other hand, if you’re a bona fide macro tracking protein bro, like myself, Starbucks comes out on top. As well as being right down the street from the Campus Recreation and Wellness Center (CRWC), they have exact nutrition information and a plethora of sugar free options, so you know exactly how much muscle mass you’ll get and can always fit it into any dietary needs. No matter where you stand, though, do NOT get Java House’s protein sweet cream, only the protein milk. The lumps are not worth the gains.
Martha’s Rating: 6/10 (8/10 without the sweet cream) “support local businesses, but don’t get the chunky sweet cream”
Lily’s Rating: 4/10 (8/10 without the sweet cream) “I literally thought the sweet cream was cookie dough at first”
While the sweet cream is a no-pro(tein) no-go, we recommend the protein milk. It’s a little bit on the pricey side—$2.00 for the add-on—but it’s comparable to other options on the market, and it’s local.
