Aries- Stop. Collaborate and listen. The original song is Under Pressure.Taurus- You should probably reserve your space tickets in case Gingrich wins the election.
Gemini- If you encounter the element Rubidium while walking down the street, you’re probably in trouble.
Cancer- Missed the Grammys this year? It’s okay, I’ll sum it up for you. Adele…
Leo- Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance: just don’t.
Virgo- Spring’s a-comin’. Time to shave.
Libra- So if you’re feelin’ cool today, ride the tiger.
Scorpio- Ready for No-Murder-March?
Sagittarius- If you don’t click on a Little Hawk online story this month, you will not find love. Ever.
Capricorn- I hear candy’s cheap after Valentine’s day…
Aquarius- Before signing a Valentine as “secret admirer,” just remember; there is no difference between that and a stalker.
Pisces- www.GiveLotsOfMoneyToNatandGabe.com/youfellforitthanks
